JoJoel's Bizarre Adventure: Northern Lion
by Frankwest16
Summary: Vinesauce streamer Joel Johansson has his stand ability awakened by a stand arrow. A plot to create and round up stand users for some purpose is responsible, as it seems. Him, along with some other companions, must discover what is going on and what to do ab


Joel was finishing up streaming some games just after he'd gotten killed (in-game). The chat was filled with the typical spam of uppercase and lowercase Fs (denoting a jokeful "respect for the dead"), followed and interspersed by the usual Vinesauce memes.  
Joel finished up, started hosting Vinny and went off.  
It was around ten in the morning. He'd gotten his coffee mid-stream and was now headed off to get groceries.

On his way to the store, he noticed some blonde guy wearing blue a shirt emblazoned with the Swedish flag, blue pants, blue boots, and blue gloves.  
"Someone's feeling very patriotic today, huh?" He thought to himself as he continued walking. He did notice a backpack on the man.  
He eventually arrived at the store and bought some bacon and other assorted foodstuffs (as well as some alcohol). He paid up and was about to leave, when he saw the Sweden-dressed man again. Staring right at him as the man unpacked his backpack.

Joel found this quite bizarre, and decided to attempt to fast-walk out of there, when a sharp pain pierced his leg and the people around him panicked. He looked to his leg as he fell to the ground and saw what looked like an arrow piercing his leg.  
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" he shouted as he groaned and shouted in pain. He passed out, presumably due to shock and blood loss, the last thing he saw was the blue man running down the sidewalk on the other side.

He woke up at a hospital. A doctor and two cops stood beside him. Immediately after he looked rationally conscious, one of the cops asked "do you remember what happened?"  
He loudly said to the officer "What the fuck do you mean 'what happened?' Some guy dressed like the Swedish flag shot me in the leg!"  
"Okay, Swedish flag... any other details?" Continued the officer, to which Joel responded "Well, he was blonde. Not much else I noticed."  
They continued with the questioning and then he was let go from the hospital. His leg still hurt like a bitch, so he sort of limped his way back home.  
When he looked at his wound, he noticed it seemed oddly long for what he'd expect of an arrow.  
"This has just been a bizarre fuckin' day." Joel said.

The next day, he streamed at around seven in the afternoon, and mentioned his arrow anecdote in the middle of a session of Skyrim, which resulted in some pity as well as some "arrow in the knee" jokes from the chat, as well as one or two saying "JoJoel confirmed" or some such.  
He ended his stream around ten thirty and decided to head to bed.

He awoke tied to a chair in a concrete room, dressed in plain white clothes.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?" He shouted in shock. He struggled against his bindings, and then a man entered the room, holding a knife.

Joel feared for his life immensely at this point, and as his chair fell backwards, some strange, dark grey, skeletal-like figure with exposed organs appeared to emerge from him.  
"HOLY SHIT!" Joel thought and shouted, and then his drive to fight back resulted in that sprite striking Joel's assailant. It punched the knife-wielder so hard he got flung out of the room. He then managed to get it to undo his bindings after he gathered his bearings.  
In a moment of clarity amid the shock of the situation, Joel thought "this all seems bizarrely familiar."  
On his way out of the complex he was in, he was encountered by three people, two men and one woman. They poised themselves in front of a doorway in a wider room, so as to stop Joel.  
Among them was a familiar face. The man who shot him.  
"You fucker! What are you doing here? WHAT AM I DOING HERE?" Joel shouted at them.  
The woman amid them, whose long flowing hair was dyed a somewhat dark blue, said "We were testing your potential, and now we'll test your strength."  
The man who shot Joel, still dressed in his Sweden suit, shouted "SABATON!" and as he did, a muscular blue figure, seemingly attired with typical viking armour, and whose chest was emblazoned with three crowns, appeared.  
Joel would have died had he not had his own apparition yet there. He had yet to fully understand what was happening, but he just barely knew how to defend himself from that first encounter.

Joel's apparition barely dodged the blue viking's attacks, and when Joel tried to strike, his gray defender swung its arms against the blue one in a cutting motion, which even sounded as if it cut the air. The blow struck, and Sweden man started to bleed.

"What the... how can this newbie achieve this?" The Sweden-dressed blonde said, before collapsing to the ground, still clutching his wounds and very much alive. He proceeded to scurry off.  
The woman said to her companion "How can a newly-made stand user manage someone as experienced as Olaf?"  
"Stands? Band names? What is this, JoJo?" Thought Joel, followed by "Well, fuck, I guess it is."  
The second man, whose hair was black and attire more grounded, shouted "RAMMSTEIN!" as his stand, a black, goat-headed humanoid thing, appeared. Following this, the woman shouted "DETHKLOK!" and her stand materialized. It was a white, human-like figure, with a clock for a face and a gravestone-like thing mounted on its back.

Joel himself was struck by a charge from Rammstein, and he was flung against the wall, spitting out a bit of blood as he hit it. His stand, however, was able to strike the goat-headed stand in the back, which resulted in the black-haired man's head being cut into, killing him.  
"DIETRICH!" the woman shouted, and she turned her stand around as it was about to attack Joel, and made it clutch the dead German instead.

His wound was still there, but he started to stand up as if he was alive. The woman then said "My stand, Dethklok, can bring people back from the dead temporarily."  
The door out of that room was less guarded now, and he made a sprint for it. The woman tripped him, however, and as the man collapsed back into the ground, lifeless, Dethklok took hold of Joel.  
Joel felt his life slip away slowly, as the woman said "My stand can also drain the life of people!"  
Just as Joel felt he was doomed, the man he'd attacked earlier stabbed the woman in the back, freeing Joel.  
"Word of advice, try not to punch people the second you meet them." He said, as he helped Joel flee the place.  
As they entered into the light of day, Joel told his savior "Say, your voice sounds familiar. Who are you?"  
The man removed the ski mask he was wearing, and Joel, shocked, yelled...  
"REV!?"

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
